Think Before You Do Something

Before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't
speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone
who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone
who's crying out to God for a companion.

Before you complain about life - Think of someone who died
too early on this earth

Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who
desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or
sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who
walks the same distance with their feet.

Before you complain about your job - Think of the
unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your
job

Before you think of pointing the finger or condemning
another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on
your face and think: you're alive and still around.

The Story To Live By : The Blind Girl

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She
hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always
there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see
the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages
came off, she was able to see everything, including her
boyfriend.

He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The
girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The
sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected
that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her
saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before
they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who
was always by their side in the most painful situations.

The True Meaning Of Christmas

By Pastor Albert Kang

Imagine this is your birthday party and you are not invited. In your place, they invite an old fat man who is not even real. That is exactly what happens in every Christmas. Hardly anyone knows the TRUE meaning of Christmas anymore. Some shops just placed signs that say, “Season’s Greetings!”

Many people from all walks of life celebrate Christmas without the birthday boy – Jesus Christ. They believe that Christmas is all about partying, fun, toys and Santa Claus. To the children, Christmas is about presents under the Christmas tree and inside stockings.



They are encouraged to write to Santa Claus instead of praying to the real God. Songs of jingle bells, snowmen and rein-deers fill the air. Everybody is spending lots of money, celebrating, having fun, eating, drinking and getting drunk.

Christmas means so much more than all these. For the followers of Christ, Christmas depicts the true love of God. We are all sinners infested with a terrible disease known as sins. This means that without help from God, we will naturally die and go to hell.

God does not want to send us to hell because He did not put that disease of sins there in our hearts. He is our Father and He wants us all to go to heaven. That is the reason why He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to bring a cure to our disease.

Jesus, who is pure and without sins, came to give us a ‘blood transfusion’ so that we will not continue under the curse of death. He takes our ‘diseased blood’ and in return, gives us His ‘pure blood’. He takes our ‘place of death’ so that we can have His ‘place of life’.

For example, in Africa, a whole family may be infected with HIV virus. If left to themselves, one by one, the family members will die horrible deaths. Let’s say, a brother of the family members, has found out where to get the medicine that can cure everybody in the family. Don’t you think he will want to share the good news with every member of his family?

That is the reason why we want to tell everyone about the Good News of Jesus. We do not want our good friends and loved ones to die in their sins. We want them to know that Jesus is the Cure!


Two thousand years ago, Jesus came as a little child. After he lived and told people about the way to heaven, he was crucified on the Cross. Satan thought that he had destroyed the ‘Cure’. However, death could not hold Jesus and on the third day, He became alive again.

Because of His death and resurrection, you and I do not need to die. All we need to do is to confess and repent of our sins, accept the new life that Jesus has given.

Confessing is almost similar to the African HIV victims acknowledging that they have the dreadful disease and need help. Repenting is similar to one, after having received the cure, would make every effort to avoid being contaminated by HIV virus again.

Today, you can receive the Cure too. Just acknowledge that you have the sin disease and then ask Jesus to cure you by giving you His forgiveness.

Once you do that, then this Christmas will become even more meaningful to you. Why? Because it is the birthday celebration of the One who saves your life and gives you hope of everlasting life.

Describe Male Organs.

> Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in
> your country?
> Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America
> are like gentlemen.
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman.
> (Applause! Applause !)

> ==========

> Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in
> your country?
> Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very
> own Bullfight or Toro(Bull)
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an
> opening.
> (Applause! Applause !)

> =========================

> Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male
> organ in your country?
> Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our
> country are like gossip or rumors.
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth.
> (Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause!
> Applause!)

> =================

> Question: Ms Iran, how do you describe a male organ in
> your Country?
> Ms Iran: Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are
> like thieves.
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms I ran: Because they like to enter through the back
> door.
> (Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause!
> Applause!)

> ======================

> Question: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in
> your country?
> Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in India are
> like labourers.
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms India: Because it works day and night......
> (Applause!Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!
> Applause! Applause!)

> ===============

> Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ
> in your country?
> Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that male organs in
> Malaysia are like Proton car.
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft.
> (Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause!
> Applause!)

> ==============

> Question: Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ
> in your country?
> Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ in
> Singapore is very Kiasu
> (Afraid to lose).
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and
> leave 15 minutes before the show is over.
> (Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!
> Applause! Applause!)

> ==================

> Question: Ms China, how do you describe a male organ in
your country?
> Ms China: Well, I can say that Male Organs in China are
> like
> Deng Siu Ping.
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms China: Short and hard working, but can work until
> 90.
> (Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause!
> Applause!)

Why Gals Love To Pose Like This?

Secret Love Letter

Dear Sakura,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our horoscope doesn't match. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped outside of Chicago and I saw you sit on my John F. Kennedy-statue. I'm sure you're middle-class enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I never openly mocked senility .

In pain,
JustJasmine

Now try this yourself:

Dear ________(the last person who left a comment on your blog/journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-


1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scared
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - How awful I've felt
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Hate your guts
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked


11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain