Monday, March 23, 2009

I Lost My Wife

A man went to police station for filing report for his missing wife:

Man: I lost my wife (misty)

Inspector: what is her height

Man; I never noticed

Inspectior:slim or healthy

Man: not slim can be healthy

Inspector: colour of eyes

Man: Never noticed

Inspector: colour of hair

Man: changes according to season

Inspector: what was she wearing

Man: Saree/suit/ I dont remember exactly

Inspector:was somebody with her ?????????
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Man: Yes
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my Labra dog (romeo)
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tied with a golden chain

height 30 inches

healthy,

blue eyes,

blackish brown hair

his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken

he never barks

wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls

he likes non veg food

we sleep together

we eat together

we jog together

we &

the man started crying
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Inspector: Lets search the dog first !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 20, 2009

YOU HAVE ONLY ONE CHANCE


Its another morning..
What the heck.. Again I have to go to office.
Ohh, this is me... I shouted having a glance on my snap in today's news paper.
But what the HELL it is doing in the death column??
Strange...

One sec... Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest, but I don't remember anything after that, I think I had a sound sleep.
Its morning now, ohh..... It's already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee?
I will be late for office and that rascal will get a chance to irritate me.
Where is everyone...??? I screamed.
"I think there is a crowed outside my room, let me check." I said to myself.

So many people..... Not all of them crying...
But why some of them crying...
WHAT IS THIS??? I m laying there on the floor...
"I AM HERE" ... I shouted!!! No one listen.
"LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" ... I screamed once again!!! No one is interested in me.
They all were looking me on the bed.
I went back to my bed room.
"Am I dead??" I asked myself.
Where is my wife, my children, my mom-DAD, my friends?

I found them in the next room, all of them were crying... still trying to console each other.
My wife was crying... she was really looking sad.
My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just coz his mom was sad.
How can I go without saying my kid that I really love him, I really do care of him. ??
How can I go without saying my wife that she is really most beautiful and most caring wife in this world..??

How can I go without saying my parents that I m ... just because of u ??
How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I have done most of the wrong things in my life... thanks for being there always when I need them... and sorry for not being there when they really need me..

I can see a person standing in the corner and trying to hide his tears...
Ohh... he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding made us part, and we both have strong enough ego to keep us disconnect.

I went there.. And offered him my hand, "Dear friend... I just want to say sorry for everything, we r still best friend, please forgive me."
No response from other side, what the hell?? He is still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry... even then!!!

I really don't care for such people.
But one sec.... it seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.
My goodness... AM I REALLY DEAD???

I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying...
"OHH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS..."
I just wasn't to make my wife, my parents; my friends realize that how much I love them.
My wife entered in the room, she looks beautiful.
"YOU R BEAUTIFUL" I shouted.

She didn't hear my words, in fact she never heard these words coz I never said this to her.
"GOD!!!!" I screamed... a little more time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
I cried...

One more chance please... to hug my child, to make my mom smile just once, to feel my dad proud on me at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends for everything I have not given to them, and thanks for still being in my life....
Then I looked up and cried!!!!

I shouted....
"GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!"
"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"
I was sleeping....
Ohh that was just a dream....

My wife was there... she can hear me...
This is the happiest moment of my life...
I hugged her and whispered.... "U R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE IN THIS UNIVERSE.... I REALLY LOVE U DEAR"

I can't understand the reason of the smile on her face with some tears in her eyes, still I m happy....

"THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND? CHANCE."
"If u love someone, just mean it... Sometimes u don't get the second chance to tell them "

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Sugar Daddy Oh!

A growing number of young women openly admit to preferring the company of an older guy on a date, rather than same age or younger. This present day Sugar Daddy is a far cry from his counterpart of years ago, who would be more inclined to keep such a relationship totally private, enjoying clandestine meetings at secretive venues.

Today, often an older guy will display his younger partner openly, publicly and with pride. Let’s look at the top ten reasons why sugar daddy dating is becoming more and more popular within the online dating arena. The comparisons are based on age difference between two people seeking a long term relationship.

1. A good proportion of young women feel safer in the company of a more mature man, especially on first meeting. He is more inclined to suggest coffee or dinner in a crowded venue as a first meeting place, or be quite happy for her to suggest a locale where she would feel comfortable. Her ease-of-mind, during that first date in particular, will be high on his agenda.

2. Although there are exceptions to every rule, women dating the older man notice the higher level of respect shown to them during such relationships. The emphasis on romance overshadowing his desire to get her into bed is often more apparent. He is less likely to be interested in a superficial encounter.

3. The prospects of a long term relationship are usually very real, his playing around days are obliterated in the past. His mature mindset now focused on the many other aspects and indeed the benefits of being in an adoring long term union.


4. The older man/younger woman relationship often focuses on a man’s need to protect and show support towards his younger partner. Many misconstrue this notion as a ’sex for favors’ arrangement. Men who seek this type of relationship do not do so purely as a sexual outlet and would be offended if a woman offered sex for kindness and not because she was attracted to him physically.

5. Fidelity is less of a risk in this relationship because the man is older and has sewn most of his wild oats years earlier. He is seeking a relationship where he can be loved, nurtured and appreciated, while he has an opportunity to love, protect and honor his partner.

6. Baggage can often be a problem in any new relationship. Anyone over 35 has baggage but an older man is usually able to disassociate himself from past issues that could derail his new relationship. He is also able to allow his new partner to deal with her own issues - family, children, etc. with an air of understanding.

7. Sexually, although not quite the opportunist he used to be, his need to delight and satisfy will oftentimes be stronger than seeking his own satisfaction. He will take time to seduce her mind, his idea of foreplay has evolved way beyond ‘fumble on the couch’ status. The aftermath of those intimate encounters too will be loving and warm, with pillow talk becoming a tender part of the process.

8. Romance is an important aspect of any dating relationship, but a sugar daddy will pay much more attention to the romantic suggestion. This is not simply manifested with flowers, gifts and material things, but the hand holding, public shows of affection or little notes left discreetly for her to find. He has also learned to listen to a woman and learn what is important to her.

9. Many young women are very mature and know what they want at a much earlier age than many men. A younger woman can have a lot in common with an older man. She can hold his attention for long periods and can be very good friends as well as lovers.

10. A genuine sugar daddy will enjoy spoiling and pampering his young lover and take every opportunity available to make her feel like a princess. Not necessarily by way of showering her with material things, but generally taking care of her needs. Making her feel that she is important to him, loved.. cherished.. protected.

The 1920’s version of the sugar daddy would typically shower his young lover with gifts and often cash, as a ‘reward’ for her company or sexual favors. These days the arrangement is centered around a relationship, a solid bond between two willing partners. The spoiling, pampering and protection satisfying both his need to give, and her need to receive. This new age sugar daddy sugar baby arrangement can often develop into a powerful union of mind body and soul, leaving the conventional relationship in the dust.

By Maureen Shaw

Saturday, January 3, 2009

How To Turn A Man On, At The Table!

Dear ladies, just serve your man with this. He'll get it! :P

Friday, January 2, 2009

The Hot Sex Party?

KUALA LUMPUR (AFP) — Malaysian police arrested a female newsreader, an actress and 24 other revellers at a New Year's Eve "sex and drugs" party at a Kuala Lumpur hotel, reports said Friday.

The two high-profile women and seven others tested positive for drugs, police said, according to The New Straits Times, which reported that condoms, beer cans and half-eaten pizza were found strewn around the hotel room.

"When police arrived, many of the party goers were already high on drugs," The Star newspaper quoted an unnamed source as saying, adding that various illegal substances, including cocaine, ketamine and amphetamines were seized.

It said that the party was organised through the social networking website Friendster.

Police acting on a tip-off raided the gathering at a downtown Kuala Lumpur hotel in the early hours of New Year's Day.

The raid came after rumours that a New Year's Eve sex party was being planned on a remote beach in southern Malaysia.

Tourism Minister Azalina Othman condemned the beach party as "against our culture and religion" and potentially damaging to the reputation of majority-Muslim Malaysia.

Police warned that the "no-underwear" event for the under-40s, advertised through a website that asked for 250 ringgit (72 dollars) as an entrance fee, could be a money-making scam.

Party organisers had reportedly said that male guests were banned from wearing briefs to the event, while women were permitted to wear only G-string underwear which had to be removed after midnight.

Peer pressure is great, no doubt. One needs to be rational and wise these days. Don't get yourself involved in it, else you'll regret it later.