Please Drive Safe

Where The Hell Did All The Nice Girls Go?

To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they who are doing something wrong.

This is for the girls who do not give it up on the first date, who do not want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they’ve heard a thousand times.

This is for the girls who understand that they are not perfect and that the guys they are interested in are not either; for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they can keep alive that hope that maybe… maybe this time he would have understood. This is a homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who do not deserve their attention.

This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word.

This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the right words of advice, from “there are plenty of fish in the sea,” to “time heals all wounds.” This is to honour those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it is an experience that they do not want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude L0VESzs and explicit invitations that they would not have experienced.

This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who does not care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed.

This is for the girls who have left lyrics from sad songs in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint only to watch him chasing after the first girl in a skirt.

This is for the girls who have been told that they are too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one is for the girls who you can take home to mom, but would not because it is easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with.

This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he is just not ready, he is just not over her, he is just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it is easier to believe that it is not that they do not want you, it is that they do not want anyone.

This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you’ve returned home alone, for the nights when you’ve seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he is with to be a random hook-up.

This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realised that it was not that he did not want a relationship: it was that he did not want you. I honour you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he’d realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the “I like you, so let’s still be friends” comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realising that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you have received from your female friends, for the nights they have reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you’d have was with a pillow and your teddy bear.

This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we have believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we would have ever wanted.

This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who do not think that they deserve more, because they have been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don’t understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and do not appreciate them and do not want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mind games, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: Were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call… And if you were to get a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the “stalker chick” you’d met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this “nice girl” who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: We nice girls are everywhere. But you are not looking for a nice girl. You are not looking for someone genuinely interested in your inter-mural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you are looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So do not say you are on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt would not answer your catcalls, sometimes you’re looking at a nice girl in whore’s clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we’re all thinking the same thing: “This isn’t me. Tomorrow morning, I’ll be wearing a tee-shirt and flannel shorts, I’ll have slept alone and I’ll be making my hung-over best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me.” You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don’t want the nice girl. So don’t say you’re looking for a relationship. Relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we’re willing to extend - - but in return, we’re looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they’re running they’re chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-target. The nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug (and yes, if she’s a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness won’t matter), hoping against hope that maybe you’ll realize that they’re the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

--Wei Qi

A girl’s point of view on the matter of where the hell did all the nice girls go.

6 Men You Shouldn't Date

#1. Rebound Guy

Knowing how bummed I've been since my ex, Claudia, left for Europe, my buddy tried to set me up with his "fine coworker." Very kind of him, but I declined. With my heart stuck in international customs, there's no way I could make a connection. Not that I wasn't tempted. We men secretly hope we'll never have to deal with our feelings and instead can "fix" our sadness with a new woman. Problem is, we're always comparing her to the ex.

#2. Disappearing Guy

Some seemingly normal guys have a bad habit of vanishing. Excuses like "work's really busy" may be true, but there's often something else going on. My old roommate tried to woo his new girlfriend while still dating his old one. I also know someone who told a woman he was single in New York, although he was married in Ohio. Both guys checked out for days at a time.

When you're just starting to date, it's not like you're tracking a person's every movement. Still, the giveaway is erratic contact. Is he in touch every day and then suddenly MIA? Does he often cancel plans? Or does he suddenly want to meet up in an hour, after not calling all week? Beware.

#3. Slick Guy

With his sporty car, high-tech cell phone, and Swedish designer toothbrush, my college roommate managed to hide his insecurity behind hip stuff. He never let women get close for fear they'd find him out. So women wound up feeling rejected when HE was the one who sucked.

My advice: If his life looks like a magazine spread, steer clear. Say what you will about the guy who has a painting of poker-playing dogs or a mountain of laundry, but I promise you this: He's real.

#4. Rude Guy

I'm amazed at what men get away with. A partial list of nasty moves I've witnessed: checking out the waitress, fiddling with a BlackBerry during dinner, asking the cute bartender for her number when his date is in the bathroom. If a man lets the door slam shut instead of opening it for you, make that all the closure you need.

#5. Grabby Guy

Hands on thighs, stroking things that didn't ask to be stroked, sensual innuendos when you barely know each other -- he may try to explain these things with an "Oh, I'm so attracted to you I can't help it" line. But no matter how attractive you are, he CAN help it. And if you're not getting the respect you want early on, he probably won't surprise you with it later.

#6. Last Year's Guy

Long nights and a fear of being single forever can make going back to an ex seem mighty attractive. I've been guilty of it twice, both during lonely times in the dead of winter. Recycling romance seemed far easier than the unknown, and it was... for the two months before we rediscovered exactly why we broke up in the first place. What's the lesson here? Move forward, not back. And know that it's better to be out there looking than stuck on a couch with some guy you're just going to wind up dumping anyway. He might be happy, but you deserve more.

The Six Biggest Dating Mistakes Women Make

#1: They go on too many unproductive dates. "If you know how to date, and you're meeting losers, get off the market and go into dating detox. Clean your energy up so those people don't ask you out anymore. The problem is we women are very impatient. We want it now. Instant gratification! Sometimes the best single men are worth waiting for. You might get one good date a year, versus 100 bad ones, but he's worth it."

#2: They go out with their girlfriends in the hopes of meeting guys. "When you're with your girlfriends, you're not approachable. They're scared. Single men are very timid. I have this theory: Women who travel in packs do not attract. Men who are quality aren't going to go in there and ask you out while your girlfriends are standing right there -- he could get shot down. So it's a really good idea, at about 4 or 4:30 P.M., to go to the bar: Sit at the bar, have a drink, get an hors d'oeuvre, read a mutual-gender book like "The Da Vinci Code," know the score on TV, and pretend you're busy. You're reading a book, you're eating an hors d'oeuvre, you're meeting a friend -- and then you're more approachable because you're by yourself."

#3: They think a guy will always like them if he just gets to know them. "A guy knows right away if he's attracted to you or not. There's no warming up. Men are microwaves, women are Crockpots. Women heat up very slowly. They take in information; they decipher it and download it into their computer. Men know in one second, yes or no."

#4: They overshare on the date. "Single women are so trusting that they tell too much information about themselves. They pump and dump -- they baggage dump! They say, "I'm all relaxed, now he's my best friend and I can tell him whatever I want." They're nervous, and they tell their life story -- and sometimes their life story is not a good story to tell."

#5: They don't let the guy talk enough. "The way you talk on a date should be like a tennis match, but the guy should talk three times as often. It should be 3:1. He volleys, volleys, volleys, now you talk. You can answer the question every time he volleys, but then you lead him with your question, and it should be topical to the conversation he's having. You don't say, 'Hey, do you want to get married? Hey, what's your ex-girlfriend like?' You don't do that. You lead with what he's talking about."

#6: They forget their manners. "The key to a good date is to smile. Engage with eye contact. Let him lead and then you compliment little things along the way. If he orders the dessert and you guys share it, say, 'Oh, this is the best chocolate mousse, I'm so glad you picked this.' Manners are key. Most people do not have manners."

By Dating Blogger, Erin Meanley for Glamour

Mom & Dad, Please, Please Don't Divorce!

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,

'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!'

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says.

'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!'

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.'

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then , don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.. 'Okay', he says, 'It's all set. They're both coming for our anniversary and paying their own airfare!!'


MORAL:

No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.

The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.

OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE.

I Lost My Wife

A man went to police station for filing report for his missing wife:

Man: I lost my wife (misty)

Inspector: what is her height

Man; I never noticed

Inspectior:slim or healthy

Man: not slim can be healthy

Inspector: colour of eyes

Man: Never noticed

Inspector: colour of hair

Man: changes according to season

Inspector: what was she wearing

Man: Saree/suit/ I dont remember exactly

Inspector:was somebody with her ?????????
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Man: Yes
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my Labra dog (romeo)
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tied with a golden chain

height 30 inches

healthy,

blue eyes,

blackish brown hair

his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken

he never barks

wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls

he likes non veg food

we sleep together

we eat together

we jog together

we &

the man started crying
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Inspector: Lets search the dog first !!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU HAVE ONLY ONE CHANCE

Its another morning..
What the heck.. Again I have to go to office.
Ohh, this is me... I shouted having a glance on my snap in today's news paper.
But what the HELL it is doing in the death column??
Strange...

One sec... Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest, but I don't remember anything after that, I think I had a sound sleep.
Its morning now, ohh..... It's already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee?
I will be late for office and that rascal will get a chance to irritate me.
Where is everyone...??? I screamed.
"I think there is a crowed outside my room, let me check." I said to myself.

So many people..... Not all of them crying...
But why some of them crying...
WHAT IS THIS??? I m laying there on the floor...
"I AM HERE" ... I shouted!!! No one listen.
"LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" ... I screamed once again!!! No one is interested in me.
They all were looking me on the bed.
I went back to my bed room.
"Am I dead??" I asked myself.
Where is my wife, my children, my mom-DAD, my friends?

I found them in the next room, all of them were crying... still trying to console each other.
My wife was crying... she was really looking sad.
My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just coz his mom was sad.
How can I go without saying my kid that I really love him, I really do care of him. ??
How can I go without saying my wife that she is really most beautiful and most caring wife in this world..??

How can I go without saying my parents that I m ... just because of u ??
How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I have done most of the wrong things in my life... thanks for being there always when I need them... and sorry for not being there when they really need me..

I can see a person standing in the corner and trying to hide his tears...
Ohh... he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding made us part, and we both have strong enough ego to keep us disconnect.

I went there.. And offered him my hand, "Dear friend... I just want to say sorry for everything, we r still best friend, please forgive me."
No response from other side, what the hell?? He is still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry... even then!!!

I really don't care for such people.
But one sec.... it seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.
My goodness... AM I REALLY DEAD???

I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying...
"OHH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS..."
I just wasn't to make my wife, my parents; my friends realize that how much I love them.
My wife entered in the room, she looks beautiful.
"YOU R BEAUTIFUL" I shouted.

She didn't hear my words, in fact she never heard these words coz I never said this to her.
"GOD!!!!" I screamed... a little more time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
I cried...

One more chance please... to hug my child, to make my mom smile just once, to feel my dad proud on me at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends for everything I have not given to them, and thanks for still being in my life....
Then I looked up and cried!!!!

I shouted....
"GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!"
"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"
I was sleeping....
Ohh that was just a dream....

My wife was there... she can hear me...
This is the happiest moment of my life...
I hugged her and whispered.... "U R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE IN THIS UNIVERSE.... I REALLY LOVE U DEAR"

I can't understand the reason of the smile on her face with some tears in her eyes, still I m happy....

"THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND? CHANCE."
"If u love someone, just mean it... Sometimes u don't get the second chance to tell them "

Sugar Daddy Oh!

A growing number of young women openly admit to preferring the company of an older guy on a date, rather than same age or younger. This present day Sugar Daddy is a far cry from his counterpart of years ago, who would be more inclined to keep such a relationship totally private, enjoying clandestine meetings at secretive venues.

Today, often an older guy will display his younger partner openly, publicly and with pride. Let’s look at the top ten reasons why sugar daddy dating is becoming more and more popular within the online dating arena. The comparisons are based on age difference between two people seeking a long term relationship.

1. A good proportion of young women feel safer in the company of a more mature man, especially on first meeting. He is more inclined to suggest coffee or dinner in a crowded venue as a first meeting place, or be quite happy for her to suggest a locale where she would feel comfortable. Her ease-of-mind, during that first date in particular, will be high on his agenda.

2. Although there are exceptions to every rule, women dating the older man notice the higher level of respect shown to them during such relationships. The emphasis on romance overshadowing his desire to get her into bed is often more apparent. He is less likely to be interested in a superficial encounter.

3. The prospects of a long term relationship are usually very real, his playing around days are obliterated in the past. His mature mindset now focused on the many other aspects and indeed the benefits of being in an adoring long term union.

4. The older man/younger woman relationship often focuses on a man’s need to protect and show support towards his younger partner. Many misconstrue this notion as a ’sex for favors’ arrangement. Men who seek this type of relationship do not do so purely as a sexual outlet and would be offended if a woman offered sex for kindness and not because she was attracted to him physically.

5. Fidelity is less of a risk in this relationship because the man is older and has sewn most of his wild oats years earlier. He is seeking a relationship where he can be loved, nurtured and appreciated, while he has an opportunity to love, protect and honor his partner.

6. Baggage can often be a problem in any new relationship. Anyone over 35 has baggage but an older man is usually able to disassociate himself from past issues that could derail his new relationship. He is also able to allow his new partner to deal with her own issues - family, children, etc. with an air of understanding.

7. Sexually, although not quite the opportunist he used to be, his need to delight and satisfy will oftentimes be stronger than seeking his own satisfaction. He will take time to seduce her mind, his idea of foreplay has evolved way beyond ‘fumble on the couch’ status. The aftermath of those intimate encounters too will be loving and warm, with pillow talk becoming a tender part of the process.

8. Romance is an important aspect of any dating relationship, but a sugar daddy will pay much more attention to the romantic suggestion. This is not simply manifested with flowers, gifts and material things, but the hand holding, public shows of affection or little notes left discreetly for her to find. He has also learned to listen to a woman and learn what is important to her.

9. Many young women are very mature and know what they want at a much earlier age than many men. A younger woman can have a lot in common with an older man. She can hold his attention for long periods and can be very good friends as well as lovers.

10. A genuine sugar daddy will enjoy spoiling and pampering his young lover and take every opportunity available to make her feel like a princess. Not necessarily by way of showering her with material things, but generally taking care of her needs. Making her feel that she is important to him, loved.. cherished.. protected.

The 1920’s version of the sugar daddy would typically shower his young lover with gifts and often cash, as a ‘reward’ for her company or sexual favors. These days the arrangement is centered around a relationship, a solid bond between two willing partners. The spoiling, pampering and protection satisfying both his need to give, and her need to receive. This new age sugar daddy sugar baby arrangement can often develop into a powerful union of mind body and soul, leaving the conventional relationship in the dust.

By Maureen Shaw

How To Turn A Man On, At The Table!

Dear ladies, just serve your man with this. He'll get it! :P

The Hot Sex Party?

KUALA LUMPUR (AFP) — Malaysian police arrested a female newsreader, an actress and 24 other revellers at a New Year's Eve "sex and drugs" party at a Kuala Lumpur hotel, reports said Friday.

The two high-profile women and seven others tested positive for drugs, police said, according to The New Straits Times, which reported that condoms, beer cans and half-eaten pizza were found strewn around the hotel room.

"When police arrived, many of the party goers were already high on drugs," The Star newspaper quoted an unnamed source as saying, adding that various illegal substances, including cocaine, ketamine and amphetamines were seized.

It said that the party was organised through the social networking website Friendster.

Police acting on a tip-off raided the gathering at a downtown Kuala Lumpur hotel in the early hours of New Year's Day.

The raid came after rumours that a New Year's Eve sex party was being planned on a remote beach in southern Malaysia.

Tourism Minister Azalina Othman condemned the beach party as "against our culture and religion" and potentially damaging to the reputation of majority-Muslim Malaysia.

Police warned that the "no-underwear" event for the under-40s, advertised through a website that asked for 250 ringgit (72 dollars) as an entrance fee, could be a money-making scam.

Party organisers had reportedly said that male guests were banned from wearing briefs to the event, while women were permitted to wear only G-string underwear which had to be removed after midnight.

Peer pressure is great, no doubt. One needs to be rational and wise these days. Don't get yourself involved in it, else you'll regret it later.

Think Before You Do Something

Before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't
speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone
who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone
who's crying out to God for a companion.

Before you complain about life - Think of someone who died
too early on this earth

Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who
desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or
sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who
walks the same distance with their feet.

Before you complain about your job - Think of the
unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your
job

Before you think of pointing the finger or condemning
another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on
your face and think: you're alive and still around.

The Story To Live By : The Blind Girl

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She
hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always
there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see
the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages
came off, she was able to see everything, including her
boyfriend.

He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The
girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The
sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected
that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her
saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before
they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who
was always by their side in the most painful situations.

The True Meaning Of Christmas

By Pastor Albert Kang

Imagine this is your birthday party and you are not invited. In your place, they invite an old fat man who is not even real. That is exactly what happens in every Christmas. Hardly anyone knows the TRUE meaning of Christmas anymore. Some shops just placed signs that say, “Season’s Greetings!”

Many people from all walks of life celebrate Christmas without the birthday boy – Jesus Christ. They believe that Christmas is all about partying, fun, toys and Santa Claus. To the children, Christmas is about presents under the Christmas tree and inside stockings.



They are encouraged to write to Santa Claus instead of praying to the real God. Songs of jingle bells, snowmen and rein-deers fill the air. Everybody is spending lots of money, celebrating, having fun, eating, drinking and getting drunk.

Christmas means so much more than all these. For the followers of Christ, Christmas depicts the true love of God. We are all sinners infested with a terrible disease known as sins. This means that without help from God, we will naturally die and go to hell.

God does not want to send us to hell because He did not put that disease of sins there in our hearts. He is our Father and He wants us all to go to heaven. That is the reason why He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to bring a cure to our disease.

Jesus, who is pure and without sins, came to give us a ‘blood transfusion’ so that we will not continue under the curse of death. He takes our ‘diseased blood’ and in return, gives us His ‘pure blood’. He takes our ‘place of death’ so that we can have His ‘place of life’.

For example, in Africa, a whole family may be infected with HIV virus. If left to themselves, one by one, the family members will die horrible deaths. Let’s say, a brother of the family members, has found out where to get the medicine that can cure everybody in the family. Don’t you think he will want to share the good news with every member of his family?

That is the reason why we want to tell everyone about the Good News of Jesus. We do not want our good friends and loved ones to die in their sins. We want them to know that Jesus is the Cure!


Two thousand years ago, Jesus came as a little child. After he lived and told people about the way to heaven, he was crucified on the Cross. Satan thought that he had destroyed the ‘Cure’. However, death could not hold Jesus and on the third day, He became alive again.

Because of His death and resurrection, you and I do not need to die. All we need to do is to confess and repent of our sins, accept the new life that Jesus has given.

Confessing is almost similar to the African HIV victims acknowledging that they have the dreadful disease and need help. Repenting is similar to one, after having received the cure, would make every effort to avoid being contaminated by HIV virus again.

Today, you can receive the Cure too. Just acknowledge that you have the sin disease and then ask Jesus to cure you by giving you His forgiveness.

Once you do that, then this Christmas will become even more meaningful to you. Why? Because it is the birthday celebration of the One who saves your life and gives you hope of everlasting life.

Describe Male Organs.

> Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in
> your country?
> Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America
> are like gentlemen.
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman.
> (Applause! Applause !)

> ==========

> Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in
> your country?
> Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very
> own Bullfight or Toro(Bull)
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an
> opening.
> (Applause! Applause !)

> =========================

> Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male
> organ in your country?
> Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our
> country are like gossip or rumors.
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth.
> (Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause!
> Applause!)

> =================

> Question: Ms Iran, how do you describe a male organ in
> your Country?
> Ms Iran: Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are
> like thieves.
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms I ran: Because they like to enter through the back
> door.
> (Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause!
> Applause!)

> ======================

> Question: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in
> your country?
> Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in India are
> like labourers.
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms India: Because it works day and night......
> (Applause!Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!
> Applause! Applause!)

> ===============

> Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ
> in your country?
> Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that male organs in
> Malaysia are like Proton car.
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft.
> (Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause!
> Applause!)

> ==============

> Question: Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ
> in your country?
> Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ in
> Singapore is very Kiasu
> (Afraid to lose).
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and
> leave 15 minutes before the show is over.
> (Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!
> Applause! Applause!)

> ==================

> Question: Ms China, how do you describe a male organ in
your country?
> Ms China: Well, I can say that Male Organs in China are
> like
> Deng Siu Ping.
> Question: How can you say so?
> Ms China: Short and hard working, but can work until
> 90.
> (Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause!
> Applause!)

Why Gals Love To Pose Like This?

Secret Love Letter

Dear Sakura,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our horoscope doesn't match. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped outside of Chicago and I saw you sit on my John F. Kennedy-statue. I'm sure you're middle-class enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I never openly mocked senility .

In pain,
JustJasmine

Now try this yourself:

Dear ________(the last person who left a comment on your blog/journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-


1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scared
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - How awful I've felt
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Hate your guts
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked


11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain

13 Signs You're Falling In Love

33 Facts About Guys

01. Guys like their gadgets & bikes more than a girl. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

02. Guys hate flirts.

03. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

04. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

05. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

06. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

07. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

08. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

09. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow".... so true.

10. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.

11. Guys love their moms.

12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

13. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

14. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

15. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

16. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.

17. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.

18. Guys are very open about themselves.

19. Its good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.

20. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

21. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.

22. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice ... very true.

23. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

24. Guys keep secrets that girls tell them.

25. Guys think too much.

26. Guys fantasies are unlimited.

27. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does! ... very true.

28. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!

29. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.

30. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.

31. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

32. Guys hate girls who overreact.

33. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.

Secret To A Happy Marriage

Dedicating this post specially to Vincent & Pauline ;)

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He then asked her about the contents.

'When we were to be married,' she said, ' my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to Never Argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?' 'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

Prayer To Pray:

Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man; love to forgive him; And patience for his moods; Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death, because I don't know how to crochet.

The Love Language Of Physical Touch

We have long known the emotional power of physical touch. 

Research has shown that babies who are held, hugged, and kissed develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact. I suspect the same is true of adults.

Physical touch is a powerful vehicle for communicating marital love. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s spouse. All marriages are enhanced by tender physical touch.

If Your Spouse Doesn't Enjoy Physical Touch

One wife said, “I want to touch my husband, but when I try, he draws back. He acts like it irritates him, unless of course we are having sex.” What is this man telling his wife by his behavior? That physical touch is not his primary love language. He will respond much better to “words of affirmation” or one of the other love languages. If physical touch is your spouse's primary love language, they will welcome tender touches any time you want to give them. Some people will find it difficult to speak the language of physical touch.

 They were not touched as children, and touching is uncomfortable for them. But anyone can learn to speak this language. Remember, love is seeking to meet your spouse's needs, but your own. You don’t touch because it feels comfortable to you, but because it communicates love to them.

Dialects of Love

In marriage, the love language of physical touch has many dialects. This does not mean that all touches are created equal. Some will bring more pleasure to your spouse than others. Your best instructor is your spouse. Your wife or husband knows what they perceive as a loving touch. Don’t insist on touching them in your way and in your time. Respect their wishes. Learn to speak their dialect. Don’t make the mistake of believing that the touch that brings pleasure to you will also bring pleasure to them. There are appropriate and inappropriate ways to touch in every society. All societies have some form of physical touching as a means of social greeting. This is also true in marriage. Physical touch can make or break a relationship.

 It can communicate hate or love. Tender physical touch can be a powerful language of love, but harsh abusive touch can actually destroy love. Clearly our bodies are made for touching, but not for physical abuse.

There are five love languages. What's yours? Take the 30-second quiz.